Hurricane I

This Sunday, there was a Native American man sitting at the bar wearing a Florida State jacket.

I laughed my ass off.

P.S. Apparently, he is a regular, as the bartender referred to him as "John Redcorn". Some of the other bartenders do not like him and try to kick him out because he'll have three beers and get so drunk he forgets to pay his tab. But he always comes back for more...

I am once again in desperate need of new music to listen to at work.

So it's again time for the Summer(Whoops, Fall) Music Drive!

Winner receives a frosty beverage.

(Confidential to RH: When you return to this country, I'll give you your beverage even if I have to FedEx it).

Vandy is 3-0, with two SEC wins.

I'm stunned, and thrilled, and I don't know what to do with myself. It was great to see my stadium, my colors and all those painful 4th quarter flameout memories just disappear. (Well, there were some tense moments, but those disappear too).

The best part is, we even beat the spread. We rock.

A haiku:

Two SEC Teams-
One More Win For Vandy. And
We Can Read. Go Dores!

Also, I would like to add that Good appears to have triumphed over Evil in the Football realm - Vandy won, Auburn triumphed over Ball State by a margin of about 60 points, Spurrier was defeated, and the UT Orange Nastiness has once more had to swallow the pill of defeat forced upon them by the only slightly less obnoxious Gators.

And it was nice to hear the commentators on the Florida-UT game mention that Florida's record is now second to Vandy's in the SEC. Nice.

I work for The Man. But The Man is still keeping me down.

I spent my entire day today dealing with one flag. One flag.

There's some old lady I need to call about tours; she's now called me three times. She didn't get called back today because of The Flag.

One of our printers stopped working and now sounds like a distressed chipmunk when you try to print on it. I didn't call the repair people today because of The Flag.

My desk looks like a hurricane of papers. The office phong rang, and I could not remove enough papers from on top of the phone so that I could answer it before it went to voice mail. All of the papers pertain to The Flag.*

I broke a thumb nail (the worst one to break off) sorting through the nine boxes of presentation folders to find what I needed for the certificate for The Flag.

The Man is keeping me down. It's days like today when I understand why alcohol and government go so hand-in-hand.

UPDATE: This debacle is not going away. We're moving onto Day 4.

*All of the paperwork with the flags must be done in triplicate. It's the Way of The Man. It's one of the many, many ways he micromanages me and keeps me down.

I have added a reminder to my Crackberry to remind myself to blog. I might have to blog about how irate I am that I got a mosquito bite on my forehead when I had so much arm space that could have been bitten, but it will be a living blog once more.

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1 Run for political office (and yes, you will be expected to contribute)

2 Spend meaningful time in a foreign country

3 Learn at least one living language (see above)

4 Get enough education so there is a string of letters both before and after my name

5 Make Babies

6 See legislation that I have crafted become part of the official record

7 Get Married. Seems like a nice idea.

7 things I can do:

1 Play multiple instruments and read both clefs

2 Talk to constituents on the phone, the Congressman on the other side of my desk, and the Boy on instant messenger ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

3 Wander onto the floor of the House of Representatives unaccompanied… as long as Congress isn’t in session

4 Carry a recognizably decent tune

5 Knit (but I’ve forgotten how to close it off so that I can stop knitting).

6 Use Macintosh and Windows computers without wanting to throw either of them against the wall because I can’t make it work. In other words, I can use a computer with and without a right click button. It’s just not that cool.

7 Wait tables well. It’s an art form.

7 things I cannot do:

1 Wear lime green. It makes me look like a sick lizard.

2 Pee standing up.

3 Stay out to the wee hours of the morning drinking and carrying on and then get up and go to class/work the next day

4 Continue to maintain the blog with anything approaching regularity. Sorry kids.

5 Ride the bus without the drama. (Fucking bus. I hate you.)

6 Dance well. I enjoy dancing, but of all the adjectives that would describe my dancing, “well” would not be in the top, um, 50.

7 Keep my allocated personal space from looking like a federal disaster zone. (Hence the name of the blog.)

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1 Intelligence

2 Confidence – if you have to keep proving yourself, we just won’t get along

3 Drive/Dedication/Goals/Ambition – whatever fancy way you want to say that you are striving to do your best and to better yourself

4 Understanding/acceptance of who I am and what I am trying to do with my life

5 A clean-shaven face – stubble hurts my face

6 The ability to laugh at yourself

7 Being able to handle yourself in public without making me afraid/ashamed to say that yes, I am here with you.

7 things that I say most often:

1 Congressman X’s office… (the last time I visited my family in LA and I answered the phone, that is what I said. I was so embarrassed…)

2 No, I’m sorry, the White House and the Capitol are not the same building… no, the President does not live in the Capitol Building… no, the Speaker of the House doesn’t live here either…

3 False.

4 See, here’s the thing –

5 Shh. Let’s go to bed. It’s time for sleeping.

6 Dammit [name]!

7 Holy Fuck.

7 celebrity crushes:

1 Matt Damon

2 Brad Pitt – but not so much after I found out he smokes. Not sexy.

3 Sean Connery

4 Rob Lowe

5 Barack Obama. I’m a total groupie.

6 John Travolta circa Grease. I was so into that movie.

7 Jack Black

7 people I want to do this:

1 I think between Joel, Jay, and Meagan, all my friends are covered.

2 Damn you all.

3 Do I only have 21 friends?

4 Perhaps.

5 I certainly do not have 28 friends with blogs.

6 Let’s do this:

7 If we are friends, you have a blog, consider yourself meme’d.

7 people who have demanded that I do this, and then mocked me for not already having done it so that I am now giving you the finger and shaking my fist angrily in your general direction:

1 Joel

2 Jay

3 Lauren Sousaphone

4 KT Frazier

5 Jay again, because he mocked me for letting Fernando return from the blog afterlife before I got around to the meme. That’s an extra angry fist in your direction.

6 Michael, because even though he hasn’t done it either, had he beaten me to this particular punch, I’m just going to believe that he’d have not missed an opportunity to smack me around a bit. How do you make a hormone again, Michael?

7 While we’re on the subject of angry fists, let’s just go ahead and shake one in the general direction of all constituents who harass me unnecessarily. And people who stand on the left side of the escalator. And bad tippers. And my crazy roommate.

It's official. In California, per the state legislature, the official definition of marriage is a union between two people.

The only thing left to turn it into the Law of the State is the signature of the Governator. I think he wants to sign it, but politically he doesn't know what to do...

And yes, I'll do that meme thing later, but I'm busy now.

California, like the kooky pinko commie liberal state that it is, has now decided to define a marriage as a union between two people. Period. Well, at least the upper body of the legislature has. Still, it's a step in the right direction.

And maybe we'll change that ugly bear to a rainbow.