Hurricane I

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1 Run for political office (and yes, you will be expected to contribute)

2 Spend meaningful time in a foreign country

3 Learn at least one living language (see above)

4 Get enough education so there is a string of letters both before and after my name

5 Make Babies

6 See legislation that I have crafted become part of the official record

7 Get Married. Seems like a nice idea.

7 things I can do:

1 Play multiple instruments and read both clefs

2 Talk to constituents on the phone, the Congressman on the other side of my desk, and the Boy on instant messenger ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

3 Wander onto the floor of the House of Representatives unaccompanied… as long as Congress isn’t in session

4 Carry a recognizably decent tune

5 Knit (but I’ve forgotten how to close it off so that I can stop knitting).

6 Use Macintosh and Windows computers without wanting to throw either of them against the wall because I can’t make it work. In other words, I can use a computer with and without a right click button. It’s just not that cool.

7 Wait tables well. It’s an art form.

7 things I cannot do:

1 Wear lime green. It makes me look like a sick lizard.

2 Pee standing up.

3 Stay out to the wee hours of the morning drinking and carrying on and then get up and go to class/work the next day

4 Continue to maintain the blog with anything approaching regularity. Sorry kids.

5 Ride the bus without the drama. (Fucking bus. I hate you.)

6 Dance well. I enjoy dancing, but of all the adjectives that would describe my dancing, “well” would not be in the top, um, 50.

7 Keep my allocated personal space from looking like a federal disaster zone. (Hence the name of the blog.)

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1 Intelligence

2 Confidence – if you have to keep proving yourself, we just won’t get along

3 Drive/Dedication/Goals/Ambition – whatever fancy way you want to say that you are striving to do your best and to better yourself

4 Understanding/acceptance of who I am and what I am trying to do with my life

5 A clean-shaven face – stubble hurts my face

6 The ability to laugh at yourself

7 Being able to handle yourself in public without making me afraid/ashamed to say that yes, I am here with you.

7 things that I say most often:

1 Congressman X’s office… (the last time I visited my family in LA and I answered the phone, that is what I said. I was so embarrassed…)

2 No, I’m sorry, the White House and the Capitol are not the same building… no, the President does not live in the Capitol Building… no, the Speaker of the House doesn’t live here either…

3 False.

4 See, here’s the thing –

5 Shh. Let’s go to bed. It’s time for sleeping.

6 Dammit [name]!

7 Holy Fuck.

7 celebrity crushes:

1 Matt Damon

2 Brad Pitt – but not so much after I found out he smokes. Not sexy.

3 Sean Connery

4 Rob Lowe

5 Barack Obama. I’m a total groupie.

6 John Travolta circa Grease. I was so into that movie.

7 Jack Black

7 people I want to do this:

1 I think between Joel, Jay, and Meagan, all my friends are covered.

2 Damn you all.

3 Do I only have 21 friends?

4 Perhaps.

5 I certainly do not have 28 friends with blogs.

6 Let’s do this:

7 If we are friends, you have a blog, consider yourself meme’d.

7 people who have demanded that I do this, and then mocked me for not already having done it so that I am now giving you the finger and shaking my fist angrily in your general direction:

1 Joel

2 Jay

3 Lauren Sousaphone

4 KT Frazier

5 Jay again, because he mocked me for letting Fernando return from the blog afterlife before I got around to the meme. That’s an extra angry fist in your direction.

6 Michael, because even though he hasn’t done it either, had he beaten me to this particular punch, I’m just going to believe that he’d have not missed an opportunity to smack me around a bit. How do you make a hormone again, Michael?

7 While we’re on the subject of angry fists, let’s just go ahead and shake one in the general direction of all constituents who harass me unnecessarily. And people who stand on the left side of the escalator. And bad tippers. And my crazy roommate.