Hurricane I

-If you leave the window open at dusk, mosquitos will fly inside and bite you between the toes.
-Not all High School graduates know how to operate a fax machine/copier/coffee machine.
-If you are Australian, you say "Sh-raz". If you are French, you say "Sirah". But it's the same wine.
-If you spit white wine and red wine into the same pitcher, it looks like blush wine. But it does not taste like blush wine.
-When having a rubber band war, it is a great thing to be wearing glasses.
-Shooting yourself in the eye, whether wearing glasses or not, is bad.
-It is not humanly possible to purchase more office supplies than God intended. There is always more to buy.
-A mattress is a nice thing to own.
-Sex offenders are creepy, especially if you discover that you are accidentally living with one.
-There is nothing more relaxing that old friends.