Hurricane I

It is Thursday. I have not left the house since Tuesday evening. See, I would leave the house, but it's been really windy, and wandering about in the wind for no good reason is not fun. And I have no good reason to go any where. I'd go shopping, which is mostly indoors, but that requires funds (or at least being okay with signing my soul over to the credit card people). I'd go talk to people about jobs, but they're all busy and do not have time for me. And while I do need to go the grocery store, I don't want to walk there in the wind. So I'm eating cold pizza and drinking water.

I am going crazy. I crave meaningful human interaction, but I fear that all too soon, I will not. Then I will turn very pale, start going to the tanning salon, die my hair blonde, and get a boob job. Then, my transformation to future trophy wife will be nearly complete.