Hurricane I

Oh lord. I have no idea what this guy was thinking, but I am quite amused. Translations appreciated:

oh, pick me, pick me
Reply to: anon-48530154@craigslist.org
Date: 2004-11-10, 3:27PM EST

hello 8-O !!!!

Hi! I own a lower case letter, ellipsis and emoticon startup factory in Adams Morgan. B:-)…imho i'm more like a twelve year old girl than a grown man, except for my extra large ~~~~~8}, outgoing, cute -- so says my mommy :-?, fun/die \_/!, well-traveled [around my apartment], very happy and devilish ]:-)... and i enjoy just about everything and everyone except lamo weirdos and retards and fags... i.e. i enjoy my life, work, friends, experiences... yep, everything (except see above, dork)!!! :-{)

as well, i'm laid back, yet a cleannie you weenie... and am open & understanding to everything/everyone except pervos and dumbasses... >=^ P… basically, nothing will phase me... well, perhaps some things would? a huge goiter may make me want to hork.... i've seen/experienced a lot [canada, space camp, masturbation] in my life... which is a good thing, i feel, especially the masturbation!!!!

and here's my story: i'm in search of a bffl.(best friend for live, reject) :-P... and, if things go further, great! plus, if i were to be with someone [i.e. as more than just a "friend"], but they were still just a friend, I wouldn’t have to pay for your dinner!!!!!! so, for me, being "friends" is an ok place to start... and, again, as i said... we'll see where it goes from there $-)!

so... i'm interested in meeting a pleasant/kind/fun/hot/horny/friendly/happy/honest/cute/etc. female friend who wants to get jiggy with it and is/might be a fan of the following things...

body mods, traveling -- and do i have stories to tell !-(!!!, fantasy football, fun times!, my apartment, skiing, friends with benefits, cheese whiz, table tennis -- though it's been awhile!, movies/films, la fromage, pleasant vibes, american culture/s, dancing the watusi!, living in foreign lands like canada, smiles, honesty, bike rides!, peep shows, spicy things, taking naked pictures of yourself, learning, free-stylin’, sharks, the truth, museums of medical odditites, watching the seasons change on tv, new things, gerbiling, the arts, human/equal rights, speaking foreign tongues like klingon (Hab SoSlI' Quch!), cuddling, int'l affairs/issues, pool -- both swimming [though i much prefer it in the ocean/sea] n w/cues, dark beer, water sports, scat, ice cream, theatre, mountains, valleys, hills, crevices, spelunking ( 8(|)

so... if you like what i like, and would like to make a new friend with benefits... let's hang out :-}! !!!!

hmmm, how's this for a first date idea... we have sex... then you buy me dinner... perhaps a drink or two to follow ...and then, then I dance for you, you get wet and we have more of the sex…then I smoke :/i!!!!! well, either that or some sort of performance at, say the good guys? or... the new chuckie movie/film :)! i very much enjoy all the above, and more! ...as do i a quiet evening at home on top of you =====:} !!!!

let's start with... shall we say, some info on you/a pic? i'll respond with the same P*! And don’t be a fat retardo!!!!!