Hurricane I

I definitely found some interesting things. In no particular order (and I skipped the ones that are actually you. That's not fun.):

Joel Hart, everyone's favorite Admissions Counselor:

Joel Hart is a stillwater specialist, one of the finest, and, like me, he loves a tough situation. Unlike me, however, he lacks a masochistic streak. He doesn't mind getting beaten by the trout, but he doesn't want to hike eight or nine miles uphill to do it.

Also, Joel Hart (11 Feb. 1810-2 Mar. 1877) carved a bust of the wife of Cornelius Vanderbilt. That's just freaky.

And,

The second Consul, Joel Hart from New York, took over in 1818, though almost immediately he went to London to work as a physician, returning to America within five years. Despite this, he held the post of Consul at Leith for sixteen years, the U.S. State Department being unaware of his departure, and it seems that his only official act was to appoint a vice-consul who was left to conduct the affairs of the Consulate. This was Robert Grieve, who was a local ship chandler with premises on the shore at Leith.

I could not access this last website because my web filter told me it was "tasteless". I have no doubt that it, as apparently a Joel Hart in Australia got arrested for serial masturbating. I'll check it when I get home, and if it is actually offensive, it will vanish.
UPDATE: The link doesn't work at home either, so I'll just give you the address that I origianlly saw: joel.hart.wasarrested.com/AK/Melbourne/masturbating
If it works for anyone, let me know.

-Katie Frazier, Band President du jour"

Katie Frazier's life is a fascinating saga of survival during a period of rapid and drastic change. Whether tanning deer hide to make cradle boards and moccasins, or teaching dances, songs and the Paiute language to schoolchildren at Pyramid Lake, Katie embodied strength, practicality and wisdom. Those who knew her remember another quality that was delightful: her droll sense of humor and her wit.

Katie Frazier, the president of the Tri Delta sorority at UCF wrote a letter to the Elections Commission saying, "An unauthorized statement and endorsement was made that was not in support of one of our sisters ... Tri Delta is endorsing Darrah Winkler, Arts and Sciences Seat 11 for United UCF."

Haha, Katie Frazier is a Tri-Delt.

-Erica Williamson

Jazzopetry is the result of many years of activity in the poetic and theatrical communities by Erica Williamson and the musical, poetic, and theatrical communities by Clif Jackson.

Erica Williamson, Associated Student Government financial vice president, said the Student Activities Finance Board is investigating College Republicans' participation in the bake sale to see if there is any potential financial misconduct.

If I didn't know better, I'd think that one was actually real...

-Claire McDonald

"We're seeing more of the horrible cases where people are getting terrible bedsores or medical treatment is not being sought when someone is in critical shape," said Claire McDonald, Snohomish County's long-term care ombudsman.

A team of judges including Lady Claire McDonald deliberated over the dishes prepared by the teenage chefs in front of an audience of several hundred.

Those were the best. Well guys, that was fun, but I can leave and go home now. Happy Debate Watching!